A RAD HOMO

Rad Homo is back.....

I get so emotional baby....

Rad is back....Had a top notch time in NYC....Shopped like crazy and did allot of sightseeing! It was awesome....Loved it.... Now back and trying to play catch up....Seattle is COLD! We are suppose to get snow today and tomorrow... Winter has arrived early....

Feeling depressed this weekend- This whole Thanksgiving holiday and my mom not being here is affecting me....as she was all about the holidays and we always spent so much time with her... So many traditions with it all that we did...making pies, homemade stuffing...Hanging out on T day talking and laughing......and then for years her and I would do our marathon shopping the day after T day and spend the whole day doing our x mas shopping...going to lunch and then dinner... We used to call it our "shop to we drop" day. We would start in the wee hours and go to about 9 that evening....good times. So I'm having a hard time. It was a special day for us to be together. So many other traditions...Its got me all emotional.

Did have Thanksgiving with the family yesterday. As Dad is going to the bay area to see family for the holiday....So we did dinner yesterday....I tried to make it feel the same.....I know dad tried......God bless him....But it was lame---well more of a disappointment for me really....I tried so hard to make it a day to remember her-- I tried to suck it up but some of my family members that came got on my nerves big time and it was the same old shit...I know they didnt find it lame at all...Im sure they had a good time! But they are clueless..... I know I need to let it go but its hard......They wasn't around when she was here much anyhow....Only came around when mom and dad had something at the house like yesterdays T day dinner....They never had my parents or us over or any invites through the years....for Thanksgiving or a BBQ etc........it was always ma and pa having something or hubby and I....and it was the same this year.....Dad had the dinner and he made the turkey and we made the ham and all the rest of them brought desserts...Had about 8 pies so it was a lovely Pie Thanksgiving.......Thanks for the pies people! whatever......Of course they all ate like pigs.....and took home pies...LOL!! Anyhow long story short the day just ate at me...I know it should not of but it did...I tried hard to not let it bug me but things in my head had me in a mood....I really need to learn to tolerate and relax and look at the big picture.....how they maybe looking at it....I do try.... Vodka didn't help this time though...LOL! It was just a disappointing day for me.

Another thing that was eating me was not one of them invited the hubby and I to Thanksgiving this year...I know how lame of me to think or care about.... but really......They all have things going on but we didn't get one invite from a family member. I shouldn't care but I do. Now I know how my mom felt about my sisters,brother, aunts etc....She was so right about them all... But hubby said I should look at it as maybe they thought we had plans as we are always so busy and have a life....Much like ma and pa did in years past.....have a life..... Funny I guess I'm getting old. I know I have to get over the family crap..... Now that mom is gone I have no need to keep them in my life it seems...Or do I feel the need too....Maybe that will change in time...They are so keep up with the Jones sometimes if you know what I mean...Its all about being defensive, petty and fake so much of the time and it gets old.....I have to get over it though...Mom did many times...

We were invited by our gal pals to a T day dinner this week for Turkey day..its at a good buddy of theirs... It was really nice of them to think of us.....So sweet...I think they knew we had no where to go....So they got the gang they hang out with to invite us......Feeling weird about it....Kinda like a third wheel or charity... Not sure or know the people much that will be there. I know we should go and just have some fun and enjoy a day with people....I am just glad we had one invite...LOL! I guess we are not liked anymore! Oh well!! .But its feels funny....strange.....we also feel like we should just maybe do a quiet T day with the kids at home. Make moms pies....Will see....I'm just in a funk.. I hope I can get through it....Oh phooey! This is going to be a rough week....I miss having someone to talk too at times like this.