Happy Monday......
Monday, October 15, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Pumpkin Driller....
This was apparently in the Washington Post, the title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,” said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Fuck me, is it midnight already?"
This was apparently in the Washington Post, the title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,” said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" "He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Fuck me, is it midnight already?"
Monday, October 08, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Get Your Asses On the Train!
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off,get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off,get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
My Busy Weekend Recap
If your at all interested...
Weekend was BUSY! After being gone for a few weeks we had a lot to do on our first weekend back….
Friday Night- I hauled 12 bins of Halloween out of garage and put in basement. As I anticipated rain this weekend…..Started a slow unpacking of them- Jeff and I love Halloween so we have a lot of décor—what can I say we are Halloweenie fanatics!!! Relaxed later with the dogs and watched some TV.
Saturday- Went out to breakfast at Saimin Says (Hawaiian breakfast) with Starla and Val our gal pals…...Then we were all off to that hell they call Walmart---shopping was in order for all the basics and did some grocery shopping too….It was early so we did all this before 11am and didn’t have to deal with the suburbia family hell and most importantly saved some bucks…Got what we needed and headed home…. Had some lunch then tackled the Halloween bins again—Unpacked mostly all of them…..Started to place items and move stuff out to make space…..The Pottery Barn House transforms to A Haunted House!!! Then around 530ish—left for a dinner party at some friends! Time to drink! Our friends had a major surprise….They had taped the Justin Timberlake’s Future Sex Love Sounds concert that aired on HBO on Labor Day weekend…So Jeff and I love JT……We have both cds and think he is so talented among other things...... Well the concert was THE BEST CONCERT EVER!!!! He really puts on a SHOW. The boy is so talented….If you know his music I suggest you watch it ASAP—it was so flipping awesome!!!!! Plus you don’t have to sit with 5001 screaming girls and you can bust a move in your own living room and sing your lungs out!
Sunday-Pouring down buckets of rain all day!!! We finished the Halloween decorating extravaganza and it is now ready for the season! Gave the dogs a bath-cleaned the house top to bottom and did laundry--Went to the grocery store and got a roast for dinner- relaxed in the late afternoon and lounged on the couch with the super clean decorated house (what a turn on!!! So you think it’s kinda weird that a clean spotless house turns this gay boy on? Well it does!!! I know they are more of you out there that is the same—lol)) watched Season 2 of Weeds….We had a nice dinner…..then we settled in for the season premieres of Desperate Housewife’s and then Brother and Sisters….. Both were not disappointing at all and I loved both….
Phew!!! What a weekend…..Back to work today—oh yippee skippy
I did not get a chance to upload our digital pictures over the weekend—will try to do so this week---I wanted to post as requested some pics of the trip and also now the Halloween decor…Promise to do so soon!
If your at all interested...
Weekend was BUSY! After being gone for a few weeks we had a lot to do on our first weekend back….Friday Night- I hauled 12 bins of Halloween out of garage and put in basement. As I anticipated rain this weekend…..Started a slow unpacking of them- Jeff and I love Halloween so we have a lot of décor—what can I say we are Halloweenie fanatics!!! Relaxed later with the dogs and watched some TV.
Saturday- Went out to breakfast at Saimin Says (Hawaiian breakfast) with Starla and Val our gal pals…...Then we were all off to that hell they call Walmart---shopping was in order for all the basics and did some grocery shopping too….It was early so we did all this before 11am and didn’t have to deal with the suburbia family hell and most importantly saved some bucks…Got what we needed and headed home…. Had some lunch then tackled the Halloween bins again—Unpacked mostly all of them…..Started to place items and move stuff out to make space…..The Pottery Barn House transforms to A Haunted House!!! Then around 530ish—left for a dinner party at some friends! Time to drink! Our friends had a major surprise….They had taped the Justin Timberlake’s Future Sex Love Sounds concert that aired on HBO on Labor Day weekend…So Jeff and I love JT……We have both cds and think he is so talented among other things...... Well the concert was THE BEST CONCERT EVER!!!! He really puts on a SHOW. The boy is so talented….If you know his music I suggest you watch it ASAP—it was so flipping awesome!!!!! Plus you don’t have to sit with 5001 screaming girls and you can bust a move in your own living room and sing your lungs out!
Sunday-Pouring down buckets of rain all day!!! We finished the Halloween decorating extravaganza and it is now ready for the season! Gave the dogs a bath-cleaned the house top to bottom and did laundry--Went to the grocery store and got a roast for dinner- relaxed in the late afternoon and lounged on the couch with the super clean decorated house (what a turn on!!! So you think it’s kinda weird that a clean spotless house turns this gay boy on? Well it does!!! I know they are more of you out there that is the same—lol)) watched Season 2 of Weeds….We had a nice dinner…..then we settled in for the season premieres of Desperate Housewife’s and then Brother and Sisters….. Both were not disappointing at all and I loved both….
Phew!!! What a weekend…..Back to work today—oh yippee skippy
I did not get a chance to upload our digital pictures over the weekend—will try to do so this week---I wanted to post as requested some pics of the trip and also now the Halloween decor…Promise to do so soon!
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