Friday, December 09, 2011

Mom I miss u......
Hubby and I and mom about 3 weeks before she lost her to her battle with cancer above..
I think of my mom daily, Sometimes more so on certain days than others. Today is one of those days...A day I really miss her and get really sad. We cleaned out her home last month and got it rented to some nice people- Getting all her stuff packed up was very emotional. I don't know how to put it into words really but it was difficult. I have been slowly getting some of the stuff my dad left behind (as he moved back home to Honolulu) incorporated into my home and then other items to donate as well. Today I had some bins and boxes to go through and sort as I had put them aside as some of the stuff I thought my sisters and brothers would be interested in. I was a blubbering mess as I went through it all this morning. My sis is coming over tonight and so I got a few boxes ready for her and then some blankets of moms that was left in the linen closet.....all of still had the smell of my mom and her house....It was so comforting but at the same time it made me miss her so much...The hardest part was that and then coming across her make up, brushes, powders, lotions etc......It was like she was in the room with me.....It made my heart miss her so much.

Its also the holidays and that time of year she loved so much. We would spend so much time together during the holiday season.....Shopping, visiting, going to look at lights...just doing all kinds of holiday stuff. Its the hardest time of the year for me that's for sure...So much tradition and memories....She has been gone for about a year and a half now but it seems longer. Sometimes I talk to her at night as I lay in bed....Sometimes she feels like she is in the room with me and it comforts me. I sure do miss our talks....I miss her voice the most.

Mom would have our family's annual x mas ever dinner every year and so enjoyed doing that and so looked forward to it. This year I will keep that tradition in her honor. My sisters and the kids and my brother have all agreed to get together this year at my home. I am so looking forward to it and will so enjoy doing it too .... I now feel the same as she used to I guess...I know she is looking forward to it too ....seeing all of us together....She and we will so enjoy it. I also know she would be so proud.

5 comments:

A Lewis said...

Memories are so powerful...especially when you were so close and thought so much of one another. Big giant warm Christmas hugs.

A Corner Stop said...

I can definitely understand how the lost of a love one can be difficulty and heartbreaking, especially your mom. What I can tell you is you will always miss her, but the bereavement of your loss will lessen. I am glad you are surrounded by the love of your hubby and family, especially during the holidays. Take care and I wish you and yours much peace and love.

Ray's Cowboy said...

Losing one you really love it is very hard. I do kno wthe pain you are feeling. Just remember the wonderful times, it may help the pain out.

Hugs
Ray

BosGuy said...

That's a very touching post and I think it is wonderful that you are maintaining the family tradition.

Adventures In Gay Dating said...

Big Hugz. So sorry to hear about your mom, Rad. I know how that is. Though my mom is still living, I recently lost my brother & father. I comfort myself with the thought that they'd demand that I have the Hollyest Jollyest Christmas ever if they were here to speak to me in person.